Callidus

Progress at Last

July 7, 2010

Welcome back faithful reader. Last time I teased you with an image and the news I was working on a new manip. I’m practically jubilant at the moment having just overcome a major hurdle to the project. Allow me to explain…as I said last time, this new series is an animated manip and the particular animation(s) I had in mind are not especially easy.

Again, it all comes back to this geometric design that I showed you last time (and which I now unveil in all its full-color glory!); a person with a better grasp of programming or mathematics would probably breeze through it in an afternoon, but alas that person is not I. So, I have had this major hurdle out in front of me for several months now and frankly I didn’t even want to get started because I knew how much work it was going to be.

This week though, I was able to get caught up enough on other things to finally dedicate some time to it and although its taken three days of intense work, I’m happy to report this particular milestone is now in the ‘completed’ column. Now the manip itself isn’t done, but a very significant portion of the groundwork is; from here I move on to more traditional photoshopping and writing. Still no release date yet, too soon for that, but I’m motivated now and I tend to get impatient when I get that way.

So stay tuned for more and if my workload continues to cooperate, I may just have this thing finished before the summer is over.

Just a Little Tease

May 10, 2010

Greetings faithful reader. Life these days is busy and breaking away to indulge this site isn’t always easy (though it is often on my mind). I find myself frustrated at not having adequate time to work on spicy manips, animation, and video but ‘real life’ duties must take priority. However, while my time is sparse, I have been able to chip away at a manip project I’ve had in the works for some time now. Its a multi-part animated manip not too unlike my last big outing: The Room.

I’m not ready to say more at this time, but I thought with a “I’m still alive” post, I might at least tickle your imagination with some abstract imagery that will factor into this manip in a big way. So, at this point you may have been asking yourself about the geometric construct pictured above; I can only say that it is the key to this new series. While I have had the story and base images for this manip series finalized for many months, the technical requirements of this image you see now have proven to be quite an undertaking. Perfectionist though I am, I’ve considered several times just going with a non-animated version to put it out there and be done with it.

But, we all know I love a challenge way to much to do that.

So, while that delays the final unveiling, I do think it will make the wait all the more worthwhile. I’ll tease you again sometime as I get a bit closer to completion; until then, know that I’m just as eager to share this with you fine folks as (I hope) you are to see it.

-Callidus

MC Erotica at the Mall

February 10, 2010

The day after Christmas I found myself at the local mall with some friends who were anxious to spend several gift cards they had received during the holidays. There are many things I expect from a visit to the mall; pushy vendors of hand cream products, annoying people, and a full-blown mc-junkie on mannequin duty at the newest trendy fashion outlet.

Okay, I lied about that last one but it was a welcome surprise nonetheless. While my friends pretended it was completely natural (and the shoppers around us made sure I knew it wasn’t), I snapped a few photos of this delightful, tranced plastic lady. If the designer of this window display wasn’t thinking about a pocket watch or crystal swinging in front of her face I’ll eat shoes…or something.

I’m repeating myself a bit here, but the part of me that wishes I’d studied anthropology in college, can’t help but look at perfume ads, fashion photography, and displays like this and wonder what it is about the mind control fetish that keeps it an unspoken yet consistent staple of media. Content that plays into fetishes concerning various parts of the female body are rampant. The last several years have seen latex-clad dommes and candid reference to D/s & BDSM used in television commercials to promote parental awareness and pistachio consumption. Yet, to me, it still feels as though people are quite reticent where the sexualization of hypnosis and mind control is concerned.

Maybe I’m projecting. Maybe I want it to feel more present in mainstream media to alleviate some latent embarrassment at being turned on by an ‘odd’ fetish. Maybe I’m just biased. But maybe the person who designed this mannequin did so just for us; so we could wink at each other as we pass by; so we could share the silent joke that this display is far more lurid than the Victoria’s Secret counterpart next door.

In any case, it made the trip to the mall quite worthwhile; we’ll see if next year’s visit lives up to the precedent.

Dreams

January 20, 2010

I don’t have that many mind-control dreams (and I typically do remember my dreams), maybe three or four in my adult life. Even then, its usually a small facet of something else going on. Last night though, I had probably the most overt mc dream I can remember. I had come across a picture archive last night and found a particularly interesting set featuring a domme in a black leather trench coat with matching opera gloves . I saved the pics in question just before I went to sleep and as I was drifting off, I was thinking how much I wish Alina were still here to share them with…she would have gotten quite a kick out of them.

My memory of the dream picks up post-coitus. The leather-clad domme from the photos took off her trench coat and told me to put it on. She said she had something she wanted to show me downstairs. As happens often in my dreams I’m seeing myself in the third person, my body walking around with ‘me’ trailing behind. What’s odd is that my body never bothered to get dressed and ‘I’m’ the one wearing the trench coat. So both of me get on an elevator and go down (typical right?) to the basement.

In stark contrast to the large manor upstairs, the basement is abuzz with people in white lab coats filtering in and out of rooms into a small hallway. I suddenly feel very meek and submissive; lowering my head and avoiding eye contact. One of the lab coat people sees me and gets very interested. He leads me to a room at the end of the hall. When we enter, I’ve lost track of my body and its just ‘me’ who goes inside. Like the hallway there’s a number of the lab coat people inside a classroom. A couple dozen people sit in front of laptops in the rows of tables and chairs that fill the room. I’m directed to a seat at the front.

I sit down and headphones are placed on me; I’m told to listen to the music; I know it has subliminal commends embedded within. I listen. I don’t like the music; fucking techno. I’m disappointed there’s nothing on the laptop screen to look at, just the music player. After a minute or two I don’t care anymore, its like the music isn’t even there, just this throbbing wash of sound. I stay that way for little while, floating. Then, the headphones are being pulled off me by a real-life friend (who has, coincidentally, just instant messaged me as I write this; weird). I’m suddenly aware I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting there; it feels much longer than I’m aware of.

I sense there’s more I’m supposed to listen to; something my friend is sparing me from. I stand up and my body feels impossibly heavy; I was sitting in front of the laptop a very long time. My head feels strange, like my brain is congested. I walk towards the door of the classroom. I focus on the door handle and suddenly my vision explodes with line after line of repeating text telling me I’m obedient to Goddess, must serve Goddess, and the like. Its all written in the font I do my manip captions in. I have an overwhelming urge to return to the laptop and put the headphones back on. I stand frozen in place trying to decide what to do and then…I wake up.

Waiting for Azreal

August 21, 2009

No, not that Azreal, I’m thinking more Kevin Smith’s revisionist variety: Inspiration. I want to work on something and I really can’t find anything that’s speaking to me. I’ve got a huge folder of ‘To Do’ images and in the past I’ve just made myself crank something out. The problem is that, usually, the resulting manip sucks; big time.

So I find myself in the dilemma of really wanting to write a post but having nothing to write about; wanting to work on a pic but having nothing finished to show you. So, as John Lennon once did, I’m going to take my lack of inspiration and try to use that as a backdoor to creating something. Bear in mind, its not going to be nearly as fun to listen to and in all likelihood will not include one of the greatest guitar solos ever played on a Fender Stratocaster…but the effort will be equally as sincere.

Today, I thought I’d give you a peak behind the curtain at my process; what goes in on my mind as I look at a pic and the (often slow) development of an idea to a finished manip. Ready?

The pic linked above is one of hundreds (maybe thousands) of images I’ve saved on a whim. Often I see something and I know exactly what it could be; other times I just have a sense that there’s a workable idea somewhere and save it in case inspiration strikes. Here, I found the image to be quite striking and dramatic; erotic but not overtly explicit. I love black-and-white photography and so, for me, this pic already has a special quality owing to that. But there’s more here and the longer I look, the more I see.

Congratulations Tera

August 11, 2009

In the event you don’t know, my friend Tera is quite a remarkable lady. Last week, she crossed quite a milestone: 40,000 posts at the Hypnopics Collective. While my own efforts aren’t quite as impressive as the manip she made to commemorate the occasion, I thought I’d put together a little something to help celebrate the event.

The source pic I found recently, during a particularly fruitful day of scouring for images. I didn’t know quite what to do at first, but a little succubi inspiration was all it took to get me going on the image. The story, I wrote this evening while tinkering with the last few aesthetic details. A bit wordy perhaps, but I never seem to be as pithy as I’d like to be.

Besides, its not about me, its about Tera: the woman who’s far too humble to acknowledge what a cornerstone of the mind control community she really is. Tera: who whips htaccess files in to submission and bends php to her will (and probably looks quite saucy doing it <wink>). Tera: who, I am honored to say, is my friend.

<big hug>
Congratulations Devil Woman.

Really Quickie

July 30, 2009

I’ve really wanted to do more updating, but instead I’ve found myself falling back into my old routine and doing a bunch of nothing. Recent events haven’t made things any easier, but tonight I was feeling really sick of just sitting here.

So, in a fit of frustration I posted to twitter that I was going to finish a new manip in the following three hours. Now for those of you unfamiliar with this disease I have called ‘perfection’, know that a quick manip for me is usually measured in days.

So, when I perused my “To Do” folder to find an image I thought would be an easy project, I suddenly realized that two images I’ve had saved could work beautifully together. A quick check in Photoshop confirmed they were of comparable resolutions. So, full of new-found inspiration I set to work and here we are a few hours later and I actually have something to show for it.

Voyeurism carries with it the inherent danger of being caught, but I find that effect is deliciously heightened by some naughty mind control. What if you’re so distracted by the sheer eroticism that you don’t turn and leave quickly enough? What if you’re caught? They can make you stay…and eventually make you forget you ever wanted to leave at all…

Fun themes to explore; and it leaves me plenty to ponder as I muse over writing a caption. Though this one doesn’t have the polish I usually prefer, it feels quite nice to have something after being sidetracked for so long. As always, comments and suggestions are welcome.

Her Name Was Alina

July 21, 2009

This is not the blog entry I had planned to be writing but as someone much wiser than I am once said, life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. A little over a year ago I came across a blog on the now-defunct Yahoo 360 by a woman calling herself Blankserena. She was a major hypno-fetishist and quite a writer to boot. Her posts were filled with accounts of her real-life trance experiences. They were very exciting to read but, for me, they struck a deeper chord.

When I wrote about her blog last year, I talked about how her entries were more than just something to get hot-n-bothered over. Serena talked honestly about spending money she didn’t have on hypno-fetish videos and mp3’s, letting real-life plans take a slide to indulge her mind control fantasies, and losing the man she loved because he didn’t feel as important to her as her fetish. These things spoke to something in the very core of me…because I understood them all to well.

Shortly after my blog post, we started talking and became very close as the months went by. We formed our own little support group; encouraging each other to do constructive things with our love of hypno and mc, like writing and manniping. And I’m here to tell you, when serena, mind control, and writing got together, good things followed. She (and I) was very proud of a script she’d written for Nikki Fatale called The Black Room. It was a theme she’d later explore in a story she penned called The Brainwashing of Nina; which, after me bugging her about it for two days straight, she finally posted to the Garden where it belongs.

We shared an intense love for film making, screen writing, and all manner of creative endeavors. We dreamed up main-stream film ideas with nefarious mc plot threads like all those tv shows that had kinked us so many years ago.We marveled at all the quirky indie movies that shared a spot in our dvd collections. We talked endlessly about television and the amazing writing that’s happening there right now. We wasted many Mondays comparing notes on the previous week’s episode of Battlestar Galactica and Lost. We brainstormed dozens of ideas for scripts that we’d write together some day.

When Erik came back into her life earlier this year she was so happy; she loved him so deeply. She was so glad to have another chance to be with him and I delighted in her joy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long after that her cancer returned. Over the last several months things were getting worse for her, but our friendship was as rich and alive as it had ever been and through everything we always found away to get ourselves laughing.

The day we shared our real names with each other was a good conversation; lots of humor, some poignant realizations, and some very good advice was traded that day. The last time we spoke, although the it didn’t start that way, it sort of became our “last conversation” talk. We said the things we wanted the other to know, made some promises, and said goodbye. I remember thinking afterward that if it was the last time we talked, then we went out on a good note.

Earlier today, I finally got to speak with Erik who passed along the sad news that she died over the weekend. I don’t know if its better or worse to have a great deal of time to contemplate mortality; I’ve had months to come to terms with the fact that she was going to die. Today, I don’t feel angry, or cheated, or regretful; I just miss her. I miss talking about writing and directing with her, I miss sending photos with heavy hypno overtones back and forth (one of our favorite past times), I miss our conversations.

I’ve been thinking all day about what I wanted to say about her, how to communicate how amazing she was. She was the most unique person I’ve ever known. She was delightfully vulgar; she was ridiculously funny. She was wise beyond her years and, though she disagreed, she was always the clever one between us. She was much better at giving advice than following it herself. She was supportive, encouraging, and comforting. She was very talented. She was kind. She was braver than I will ever be.

Mostly, she was my friend.

Her name was Alina and I miss her dearly.

Goodbye ‘A’, I love you, and I’ll always remember you, and I will keep my promise.

I’m Supposed to be Doing Something Else

June 12, 2009

…but I’ve been stealing quick glances at sara castle’s recently completed XXX4, and I’m here to tell you…this one’s a scorcher. Sara is one of the finest authors we have in the community, so let’s get that out of the way, and XXX4 is one of the best stories she’s ever penned.

All the usual suspects are in on this one; bleak visions of an oppressive future, a paramilitary force of ass-kicking hotties, and more cyber-punk mind controlling nasties than you can shake a steel tentacle at. Yet far from being a repetition of past ideas, XXX4 is a refined celebration of all the things that make a sara castle story great. There’s mass-quantities of mind control (three times fast), there’s love and betrayal and revenge, there’s girl-sex so hot it’ll melt your eyes right out of your friggin’ head.

I’m speaking ambiguously because I really don’t want to ruin any of the fine work she’s done crafting her narrative, but in the broad stokes, four women are in competition for a single position. They each have mind control tech, fancy weapons, and three women standing in their way. From there, sara does just delicious things with her characters; love, betrayal, see above for more.

The point is that’s its a ridiculously good story, its one of the hottest things you’ll ever read, and I am so glad I put off what I was supposed to be doing to read it. I recommend you do the same.

Congrats sara, you’ve really outdone yourself with this one (waves).

A Quickie While I Attend to Other Things

June 11, 2009

While I haven’t been quite as productive this week as I’d hoped to be (I was honestly hoping to have a full update ready by now…so naive), I have been working on some new material and I thought I’d share a sneak peek with those loyal readers (all twelve of you) who are kind enough to keep visiting.

This pic was one I’d instantly seen the story in when I laid eyes on it. It was just a matter of finding the right props and fashioning the text. I’d intended to keep the text quite breif, just a couple sentances, but what I wanted to convey simply needed more. Influenced very heavily with this one by the terrific betrayal in Daphne’s Fairie Tale, the inducer is right out of trilby’s Watering Hole, and some vibes from a very hot scene in Tabico’s Winter Flesh.

Speaking of the inducer, I wanted something flashlight-ish but nothing too recognizalbe. What I found was the K2 Porcupine tactical light. Its a self defense torch that has a retractable ring of spikes around the lamp. Somewhere, someone is butchering watermelons with one of these things.